SOS does Avenue Q-- Everyone's a Little Bit Racist

Cast:
Justin- Princeton
Mei- Kate
Rin- Gary Coleman
Kierno- Brian
Kakuri- Christmas Eve
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Justin:
Say, Mei, can I ask you a question?

Mei:
Sure!

Justin:
Well, you know Bianca in junior class?

Mei:
Uh huh.

Justin:
Well, you're a wild cat and she's a wild cat.

Mei:
Right.

Justin:
You're both wild cats.

Mei:
Yeah.

Justin:
Are you two related?

Mei:
What?! Justin, I'm surprised at you! I find that racist!

Justin:
Oh, well, I'm sorry! I was just asking!

Mei:
Well, it's a touchy subject. No, not all wild cats are related.What are you trying say, huh? That we all look the same to you? Huh, huh, huh?

Justin:
No, no, no, not at all. I'm sorry, I guess that was a little racist.

Mei:
I should say so. You should be much more careful when you're talking about the sensitive subject of race.

Justin:
Well, look who's talking!

Mei:
What do you mean?

Justin:
What about that special Kartan School you told me about?

Mei:
What about it?

Justin:
Could someone like me go there?

Mei:
No, we don't want humans like you-

Justin:
Ha! You see?!

You're a little bit racist.

Mei:
Well, you're a little bit too.

Justin:
I guess we're both a little bit racist.

Mei:
Admitting it is not an easy thing to do...

Justin:
But I guess it's true.

Mei:
Between me and you,
I think

Both:
Everyone's a little bit racist
Sometimes.
Doesn't mean we go
Around committing hate crimes.
Look around and you will find
No one's really color blind.
Maybe it's a fact
We all should face
Everyone makes judgments
Based on race.

Justin:
Now not big judgments, like who to hire or who to buy a newspaper from -

Mei:
No!

Justin:
No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican busboys should learn to speak gosh darn English!

Mei:
Right!

Both:
Everyone's a little bit racist
Today.
So, everyone's a little bit racist
Okay!
Ethinic jokes might be uncouth,
But you laugh because
They're based on truth.
Don't take them as
Personal attacks.
Everyone enjoys them -
So relax!

Justin:
All right, stop me if you've heard this one.

Mei:
Okay!

Justin:
There's a plan going down and there's only
one paracute. And there's a rabbi, a priest...

Mei:
And a black guy!

Rin:
Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Mei?

Mei:
Uh...

Rin:
You were telling a black joke!

Justin:
Well, sure, Rinny, but lots of people tell black jokes.

Rin
I don't.

Justin:
Well, of course you don't - you're black!
But I bet you tell Polak jokes, right?

Rin:
Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polaks!

Justin:
Now, don't you think that's a little racist?

Rin:
Well, crap! I guess you're right!

Mei:
You're a little bit racist.

Rin:
Well, you're a little bit too.

Justin:
We're all a little bit racist.

Rin
I think that I would
Have to agree with you.

Justin and Mei:
We're glad you do.

Rin:
It's sad but true!
Everyone's a little bit racist -

All right!

Mei:
All right!

Justin:
All right!

Rin:
All right!
Bigotry has never been
Exclusively white

All:
If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit,
Even though we all know
That it's wrong,
Maybe it would help us
Get along.

Justin:
Oh, Karta do I feel good!

Rin:
Now there was a fine upstanding black woman!

Justin:
Who?

Rin:
Karta.

Mei:
But, Rinny, Karta was white.

Rin:
No, Karta was black.

Mei:
No, Karta was white.

Rin:
No, I'm pretty sure that Karta was black-

Princeton:
Guys, guys...Karta was Jewish!

All:
*laughing*

Kierno:
Hey guys, what are you laughing about?

Rin:
Racism!

Kierno:
Cool.

Kakuri:
KIERNO! Come back here! You take out lecycuraburs!

Justin:
What's that mean?

Kierno:
Uh... recyclables.

Justin, Mei, and Rin:
*laughing*

Kierno:
Hey, don't laugh at her! How many languages do you speak?

Rin:
Oh, come off it, Kierno!
Everyone's a little bit racist.

Kierno:
I'm not!

Justin:
Oh no?

Kierno:
Nope!

How many Oriental wives
Have you got?

Kakuri:
What? Brian!

Justin:
Kierno, buddy, where you been?
The term is Asian-American!

Kakuri:
I know you are no
Intending to be
But calling me Oriental -
Offensive to me!

Kierno:
I'm sorry, honey...I love you!

Christmas Eve:
*sigh*...And I love you.

Kierno:
But you're racist, too.

Kakuri:
Yes, I know.
The Jews have all the money
And the whites have all the power.
And I'm always in taxi-cab
With driver who no shower!

Justin:
Me too!

Mei:
Me too!

Rin:
I can't even get a taxi!

All:
Everyone's a little bit racist
It's true.
But everyone is just about
As racist as you!
If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit,
And everyone stopped being
So PC
Maybe we could live in -
Harmony!

Kakuri:
Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist!